We Decided to Get Pigs. How Hard Could It Be?

Famous last words.
So, we decided we wanted pigs.
This sounds easy enough, right? Did we do the research? Absolutely.
Did we buy supplies?
Yep. Did we build a shed? Sure did. Did we put up fencing? Of course.
We researched breeds, found a breeder, and planned to buy a gilt so we could eventually raise piglets of our own.
We had a plan.
We had spreadsheets.
We had confidence.
And, if we're being completely honest, this idea may have originated from TikTok. I mean, how hard can it be? 

Plan A 

Our original pickup date for the gilt was May 8th. Then the breeder contacted us.

The litter had experienced some issues, and unfortunately several piglets had died. She asked if we could wait a little longer.

Of course!

More preparation time sounded fantastic. Who doesn't need extra time to prepare? By the end of this story, you'll realize we became the most prepared people on earth. The new plan was to pick up the gilts on May 22nd. We'd grab our feeder pigs on May 12th and everything would go smoothly. I can practically hear you laughing already. 

Plan B... Or Maybe C? 
Then another text arrived. One of the gilts had issues with her baby-making parts.

Now, the entire purpose of buying a gilt was, in fact, the future baby-making.

So that seemed problematic. Time for Plan C. Thankfully, our breeder is a saint and started calling people she had previously sold pigs to, trying to find us another gilt.

Problem solved. Probably. 

Plan D: Panic Shopping for Pigs Fast forward to the evening of May 11th.

We were all set to pick up feeders. Except... plans fell through and we didn't have a lot of faith in plans.

Suddenly we found ourselves frantically searching Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace for replacement pigs. Nothing says "responsible livestock ownership" quite like panic-buying farm animals at 10 p.m.

Then we came up with a brilliant idea: Let's visit the Zumbrota livestock auction on our day off! How bad could that be? 

The Auction Adventure 
We arrived with exactly one dog kennel and very little understanding of how many pigs would fit inside it.

In hindsight, this was not our strongest moment and we should have brought the livestock trailer.

After realizing our transportation plan had some flaws, we jumped back onto Facebook and found a breeder nearby.

Perfect. We were back on track. For at least twelve minutes. 

We Have Pigs! 
On May 29th, we finally got the call that feeder pigs were available from the original source.
Excellent.

Except now we had a pig problem.

Not a shortage of pigs.

Too many pigs.
Apparently six pigs were now coming home.

What were we thinking?
We brought home two feeder pigs using our livestock trailer for the very first time.

I would just like to officially state that moving pigs is significantly harder than moving a donkey.

Meet Mike Tyson and Porky. The boys settled in nicely.

​For approximately three days. That's when they broke their water nipples. I swear pigs are just giant toddlers with better demolition skills. 

Enter Kevin Bacon 

After a week with Mike and Porky, we were feeling pretty confident.

Then May 30th arrived. Time to bring home two more pigs.

These pigs were much smaller than expected.

Which meant another adjustment to the plan.

At this point, I think we were somewhere around Plan E.

We needed to move Mike and Porky into the pasture and free up space for the new arrivals.

Simple. Except Mike and Porky had absolutely no intention of cooperating.

They stood at the doorway refusing to move like stubborn teenagers being asked to unload groceries.

Eventually negotiations concluded, and Kevin Bacon and Harold Hockenberry were ready to move into their new pen. But first... A selfie. 

​Which was immediately interrupted when Kevin attempted to remove my hand from my body. Welcome home, buddy. 

Operation: Build a Pig Shed 

Now we had four pigs. Because apparently we hadn't learned anything. The smaller pigs needed shelter, which meant they needed a shed.

Immediately.

So we launched Operation Build-It-With-Whatever-We-Have.

We gathered leftover boards, bought a few more, and started constructing a makeshift pig shelter.

It's a good thing my husband has a wife who can build things.

It's less fortunate that she likes building things incredibly heavy.

​Especially when the big kid isn't home to help move them. But that's a problem for Future Us.  

The Gilts Arrive 
Finally. The day had come.

Time to pick up the gilts.

We brought home Francine, who appeared absolutely terrified, and Mrs. Hogenmuller, who appeared approximately three times larger than the other little piggies.

What was the plan?

​At this stage, the plan was simply: "Make it work."

The Great Pig Disaster of 2025 

We decided to put Francine into the pen first.

She looked somewhere between angry, scared, and deeply offended by our life choices.

The introduction went exactly as expected.

By which I mean: DISASTER.

Francine immediately slipped through the electric fence and joined Mike and Porky.

Suddenly we had pigs everywhere.

There was yelling.

There was chasing.

There were marital discussions.

There may have been a few "I told you so" comments launched across the pasture.

​Porky somehow entered the smaller pig area and began enthusiastically destroying the electric fence.

Francine was loose. Kevin and Harold were confused.

Mrs. Hogenmuller was still waiting her turn.

Chaos had officially taken over.

Eventually we managed to lock Francine into the shed with Kevin and Harold.

Then we spent twenty minutes trying to remove Porky from where Porky absolutely should not have been.

Somehow, against all odds, we succeeded.

Porky was out. Mrs. Hogenmuller was in.

The shed door was closed.

And for a brief moment I considered locking my husband inside with the pigs for the remainder of the day. A day wouldn't hurt him. Probably. 

Final Thoughts 

After repairing the fence, corralling the pigs, surviving the chaos, and questioning every life decision that brought us here, I had exactly one plan left.

Sit in my recliner. Do not move. Do not speak to me. Do not ask me about pigs. As for whether buying pigs was a good idea?

​The jury is still out. But one thing is certain: We wanted pigs. Now we definitely have pigs.​​​